Others Cared for Me

Cancer much like any major illness creates stress and pressures in family unlike anything else.  When it has crept into the kindest, most giving person I have ever know, it is devastating.  My mother lived a life of love, compassion and gentle kindness and she was taken by Cancer. 

My mother’s journey through terminal illness while being physically challenging was also filled with living in the moment and much joy and laughter.  Living across the country away from my family has always had its challenges but frequent visits and phone conversations have made it manageable.  This illness much like my father’s 8 years previously is the worst case scenario of living away from your family.

While the personal devastation related to the loss of the person I do my best to emulate is indescribable; the strength and support I absorbed from my siblings was incredible.  I did my best to fly home as often as possible as my mother’s health continued to decline but the heavy load was carried by my brothers and sisters.  They thanked me profusely for the time I was there to support my mother’s care but the fact was my efforts were miniscule compared to the efforts of all the rest. 

My mother because of her nature felt all of her children were amazing (six of us).  She didn’t spend any time looking at our deficits.  She was positive, supportive and most importantly hopeful for the future for all of us.  She can be most proud of her children as we cared for her and each other.  The dispersion of a life and its memories can devastate a family.  The raw emotions of the loss often cause family members to lash out at each other, deepening the pain and devastation.  I am so thankful of my brothers and sisters and their care for me during this painful journey.  I am certain they are unaware of the depth of my gratitude for their actions and kind words but I do know that our mother and father are immensely proud of all of us.

My mom and daughters